Devil's Food Cake
by Milky Matchas
Summary: The Exorcists are the Innocence-wielding guardians that keep the souls of the damned in line and enforce the laws of Hell. No human can possess the powers of God that they have. No human except for Allen Walker. Yullen.
1. Chapter 1

It was cold in here, the air conditioning on full blast, the cool, dry air wafting everywhere through vents in the walls. Kanda cringed inwardly but it could not be helped. It was just this one mission and he'd be back in the searing heat of Hell.

He crept along the corridor, sounds of music floating down the hall. Small minuets clashing against colossal fantasias, nocturnes and sonatas fighting against preludes and fugues. All the sounds in the air colliding with each other, effectively drowning out the sound Kanda's sword made against its scabbard as it was drawn.

It was a beautiful piece of metal, oiled and sharpened, glowing with the faint green that only a weapon of God possessed.

One step, two steps, three, he approached the door, tense and ready to strike at any moment.

Slowly, ever so slowly, did he ease the door open. He winced a bit when it creaked but a sudden wave of music from inside the room covered it up. He raised his eyes, scanning the room. His target should be here somewhere around here.

Instead, what he found was a boy, sitting at the grand piano in the center of the room, fingers locked in a rapid dance with the ivory keys, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. Each note was touched delicately, a delightfully refined sound coming out of the hulking instrument.

Kanda was shaken out of his reverie by the sudden wave of murderous intent.

 _Shit_

Behind the boy was a creature that looked as if it came straight out of a nightmare. Weeping sores covered its oddly humped and misshapen body as it took uneven steps toward the boy at the piano.

Kanda stepped forward and in an instant, he was right behind it, sword poised.

 _Gotcha_

He stabbed it and watched with satisfaction as it disappeared in a cloud of dust, leaving nothing behind except for a thin, ear-piercing shriek.

 _Che, small fry_ , Kanda thought haughtily to himself.

"What the _fuck_ was that?"

Oh right. _Him_. Kanda rolled his eyes; he might as well follow protocol. He'd get an earful from Komui if he didn't. Quickly, he tapped the boy's forehead lightly and muttered an incantation. The boy's eyes flashed an uncanny green colour for a moment before returning to its natural colour.

"What do you think you're doing?"

The boy brushed aside Kanda's fingers roughly and glared at him.

"Answer my question!" he said after getting no response.

Kanda's eyes widened. The boy was supposed to forget everything prior to the incantation and pass out…so what the hell was going on?

Kanda felt like he'd swallowed his tongue. No words would come out of his mouth.

"Come with me," he said suddenly, forcing the words out while pulling Allen to the door.

"What? No! Tell me what happened you ass!"

The boy struggled furiously, trying to wriggle out of Kanda's iron grip.

"Come _on_ you fucking beansprout."

"Wha- I am _not_ a beansprout!"

"Oh _shut up_." This stupid human. Why couldn't he just follow Kanda's instructions? Lesser beings like him should obey higher deities like Kanda. That was just how the world worked.

"Tell me what's going on or I will. Not. Move."

The boy was digging his heels into the ground now; throwing all his weight opposite to the direction that Kanda was pulling him in.

"You little shi-"

Kanda was cut off when he was suddenly thrown in every direction all at once. Groaning, he shouted, "Hey! What do you think you're doin-"

This time he broke off his sentence in shock. The boy, the boy, the boy…what was wrong with the boy's arm?

It was a monstrosity of white; glistening in the warm light of the room and glowing with the green colour that Kanda was so familiar with.

… _Innocence? That's impossible, he's obviously human_.

.

.

.

Allen looked at his arm in fear.

 _What…what is this?_

"What the fuck is going on?" he screamed. His arm suddenly moved by itself, pulling Allen's body along with it in the direction of…Allen screamed again at what he saw.

It was vaguely humanoid in shape, its entire body a crusty red-brown. And then… _that face_. It seemed permanently distorted in an expression of pain, tears of blood dripping down its eyes and its mouth nothing more than a jagged rip.

His eye throbbed. And then again. It was a sharp, burning pain that stabbed his eye again and again.

 _Help me. Helpme. HELP ME._

Each time he blinked, the world flickered.

Now it was a rainbow of colours, scattered dizzily across the room. Now it was static-y, edges too sharp and objects cutting off at random places. As if through a winding tunnel, Allen distantly heard himself scream.

" _Snap out of it Beansprout_."

That one sentence pulls Allen back to reality. He blinks. Once, twice and finally the world settles in tones of black, white and grey, everything tinted with a deep, blood red. He touches his head and his finger comes away red and sticky with blood.

The boy is breathing hard, breaths coming out in harsh pants and Allen wonders where the monster went. His eyes are on Allen, flickering with what could be concern but Allen isn't too sure. He looks down at Allen's arm and Allen, following his gaze, is horrified. Before he knows what's happening, Allen retches, emptying out the contents of his stomach on the carpeted floor beneath the piano.

 _My arm_ , he thinks. It is shrivelled and red, a glowing green cross-embedded in the middle of his hand, pulsating with an odd, green glow.

"Hello? Is there something wrong in there?"

Both of their heads snap up at once as the clacking of shoes could be heard, getting closer and closer to their room.

" _Shit_ ," the other swears and immediately pulls out his hair tie, allowing his long, black tresses to unravel lazily down his back. Astonishingly, a piano-sized hole appears in the air, completely black and crackling with energy.

"Let's go," is all the other boy says before pulling Allen into it.

"W-where are we going?" Allen yells as he falls backwards.

"To Hell."


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Allen noticed was the heat. It was dry and humid at the same time, making his sinuses burn and his throat constrict. He coughed for a bit, getting used to the severely uncomfortable feeling.

The other teen was waiting for him impatiently. Tapping his foot and sending sharp glances to Allen. When he saw that Allen was done with his little coughing fit, he started walking at a brisk, steady pace, strides long, fluid and graceful.

They walked through fields and fields, filled with people. Each field was different from the last.

Here was a field full of trees seemingly made of cotton candy. It was filled with children giggling as they chased each other across the field, barefoot, on the pastel pink grass. At the far end of the field was a palace, elegant arches and iridescent glass, refracting the light into rainbows of colour upon the everything within the field.

A girl suddenly popped out of the front gate and yelled. Impossibly, Allen heard her from where he and the dark-haired teen were standing.

" _Dinner time!_ "

All at once, the children ran toward the palace, chattering excitedly as they skipped and frolicked together. When the last child slipped through the palace gate, the girl turned towards them.

"Hiya, Kanda!" she says, and in an instant, she's in front of them. The teen nods to her but continues walking.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there mister. You're not going anywhere yet," she said, tone still light but now with an underlying threat to it, her shockingly grey, smiling face gaining a sharp shadow.

"What do you want, Rhode?" the teen asked irritatedly, attempting to push past her as she was now blocking their path.

"Now now, Kanda is that really how you treat a princess?"

Kanda (what curious names these people have, Allen thought to himself) blew out a frustrated sigh but acquiesced nevertheless.

"Fine. One question. No more than one," he said curtly.

"What's that?" she asked, pointing at Allen. Allen noted how she'd said 'what's that' instead of 'who's that.'

"I don't know," Kanda replied shortly.

Rhode rolled her eyes.

"What do you mean you _don't know_?" she asked disbelievingly. Kanda was sorely tempted to tell her that she'd already asked one question but he decided against it. It would do him no good if he angered a princess, much less the heir to the throne.

"He is human, yet he possesses something that looks and behaves exactly like Innocence."

Rhode paused at this, a brief expression of surprise flitting across her face. She stared at Allen now. The stare made his skin crawl. It was unnerving in a way that he couldn't describe. Her luminous, gold eyes eventually flicked away.

"Are you taking him to the Council?" she finally asks.

Kanda nods stiffly.

"I'm coming too."

Kanda looked like he was about to protest but one look from Rhode silenced his thoughts.

Allen was very confused.

What was the 'Council?'

Where were they going?

What is 'Innocence?'

They continued walking, passing a field filled with brothels, pleasured moans filling the air. The passed a field with a massive bonfire crackling at its centre, people singing and dancing merrily around it.

While Allen called them fields, miniature towns or cities was more accurate of a term. They sprawled lazily as far as the eye could see, each one absolutely massive and seemingly endless. These 'fields' were sectioned off with roads, creating a makeshift border. Each field had a castle, each one reflecting what was going on in the field. The field with the brothels had a beautiful, red castle, engraved with pictures of sex and lust on the marble of its walls. The field with singing and dancing people was painted up cartoonishly, pictures of laughter and friendship everywhere.

Finally, they arrived at a field larger than the rest. It had hundreds of flickering fires scattered about the ash-grey grass. Shrieks of pain could be heard, echoing eerily across the field, carried through the smoke-laden air. Suddenly, a hand reached out of the smoke, grabbing wildly at the air in front of Kanda.

Allen gagged.

The hand was covered in blisters full of pus, some popped and others huge and ready to burst. Kanda gave it a look of vague disgust and swatted it away with his sword, making the the blisters pop and ooze. Continuing down the road, Allen desperately tried to ignore the gruesome figures on either side of him.

"Kanda…"

Kanda made a noise of acknowledgement.

"What is this? What...what are these things?" Allen asked, gesturing to the figures.

"The souls of the damned."

Allen wanted to ask more questions but Kanda's tone of voice told him that any more talking would be unwelcome.

They reached the end of the road, stopping in front of a final palace, more magnificent than the rest. Allen nervously eyes the guards as he stepped inside the gate and through the entrance. Stopping outside a pair of double doors, Kanda spoke in low, hushed tones to the guard standing outside of the doors.

"You can't go in there now, they're holding a council meeting!" the guard cried indignantly when Kanda tried to push past him.

"Council meeting my ass, they're probably fucking around again. Move aside or I'll make sure you don't reincarnate in the next thousand years.

Kanda's hand began inching toward his sword. The guard seemed to be sweating profusely now. Allen would've felt sympathy for the poor man if he'd not been acutely discomfited by the tense atmosphere himself.

"Now, now, settle down boys," Rhode broke in, placing a hand on both the guard's and Kanda's shoulder. The tension popped like a bubble and the guard shot a grateful look to Rhode before his eyes widened comically.

"Lady Rhode! I didn't see you there, come in if it please you."

The guard was steadily turning a sickly shade of green.

" _Oh_ , it would please me _very_ much," she replied, voice sickly sweet. "These two _gentlemen_ over here will be accompanying me."

"Of-of course!" And with that the guard scrambled to open the doors.

The inside of the room was chaos.

People screaming, crazed giggles, yells of alarm, shrieks of pain, the smell of burning alcohol and and to top it all off, gunshots and what looked to be strip poker.

 _Kanda was right, council meeting my ass_ , Allen thought dully as he tried to stay as close to the doors as possible, eyes scanning the room for the source of the gunshots.

Rhode cleared her throat before releasing the loudest yell that Allen had ever heard. He instinctively cringed away, hands flying to his ears as they stung sharply in protest to the loud noise. All eyes were suddenly on the group an Allen was uncomfortably aware of how most of these eyes were trained on him.

After a few moments of silence, the herald snapped to attention.

"I-I present you with Lady Rhode of the Dreams and Lord Kanda of the Exorcists," he stuttered out.

"Not a very bright one, is he?" a red-haired man commented snidely. The herald just flushed a splotchy pink but said nothing.

"Now now Cross, he's just doing his job," a woman behind him chastised.

Rhode ignored them and strode confidently over to a seat and plopped down gracefully onto it. Everyone else, taking their cue shifted awkwardly back to their seats as well. Allen was about to move forward but a sharp glance from Kanda made him stop, leaving him and Kanda standing alone at the entrance of the room.

"So, pretty boy, what brings you here?" It was the redhead again, saying this in a lazy, almost petulant drawl.

"Him," Kanda replied curtly, jabbing his thumb backwards at Allen.

"He's human."

"Yeah no shit, Sherlock."

Kanda rolled his eyes. The redhead twitched but didn't say anything else.

"Show them your arm, Beansprout," Kanda eventually said.

Allen vigorously shook his head. He himself didn't want to see his arm, so of course he didn't want complete strangers seeing it even more.

"Come _on_ ," Kanda growled, tugging at Allen's arm now as Allen tried to pull back.

Allen's breath came in short pants. He felt dizzy and was hot and cold at the same time. His vision blurred. He couldn't think about anything other than the overwhelming need to hide his arm. He did not want people seeing that...that _abomination_.

In an instant, his arm transformed in a flash of green light, elongating into a gleaming, white claw.

Cross whistled. Rhode's eyes shone with unmistakeable curiosity. A pair of twins ooh-ed and ah-ed. Kanda was sure that everyone's attention was piqued.

"He's not just a human," he began, looking at Cross. "He's a human with Innocence."

The room was deafeningly quiet as if in anticipation for what was to come. Then it broke out into bedlam.

"Where did you find him?"

"How does he have Innocence?"

"Kanda you motherfucker you better not be shitting us here!"

"Are you sure he's human?"

"What the hell is he?"

The air was buzzing with noise, excitement and perhaps, the tiniest tinge of fear.

A warm hand grasped his shoulder and he instinctively brushed it off, whirling around to glare at the owner of it.

"It seems like your human has passed out," Tiedoll said, looking with kindly, concerned eyes at the boy. Looking down, Kanda saw that it indeed was the case.

Tiedoll slipped something heavy into Kanda's hand.

"Third room to the left of yours," he whispered gently before patting Kanda's hand and smiling gently.

"Now off you go, my son."

"I'm not your son, old man," Kanda grumbled but obliged. He quietly slipped out of the room, dragging the unconscious boy after him before hoisting the boy onto his back. He ran with quick, light steps, covering several metres in one leap. He ran across the fields of sooty air, across the fields of cotton candy trees, arriving at another castle, far removed from the rest. Up the spiral staircase, past the first floor, second floor, third, all the way up to the fourteenth floor that only he lived on. He stopped in front of the third room to the left of his.

Unclenching his hand, Kanda discovered that the heavy object that Tiedoll had given him earlier was actually a key, heavy and brass and intricately carved. Rhode must have made it earlier when they'd all been in the council room. He'd have to remember to thank her later.

The boy on his back groaned.

"Wakey-wakey Beansprout," Kanda muttered sarcastically. To his surprise, the teen replied.

"'m not a beansprout," he slurred. "'m Allen. Allen Walker

Kanda let out a quiet 'che' and opened the door. He carefully deposited Allen on the spacious bed, watching as he groaned again and looked like he was trying to suffocate himself in the duvet. Sighing, Kanda rolled Allen over and tucked him in carefully. Kanda couldn't help but appreciate the teen. While he certainly wasn't handsome, he was actually...quite plain. Maybe that's what Kanda appreciated - that startling mediocrity that set him apart from the dazzlingly beautiful people that Kanda saw everyday. His nose was straight but splotchy from popped pimples. His red hair, sort of dull, not the same fiery colour as Cross's or Lavi's. Kanda noticed that it was turning white around the edges. Weird.

Kanda shook himself out of his stupor and went back to his room rather hurriedly. He tried to distance his thoughts from Allen but now he couldn't seem to focus on anything else. He shut his mind down, but not before having one last thought; Allen Walker was an oddly attractive name, fitting for an oddly attractive person.


End file.
